Receiving a child in this world is a sacred gift

And a humbling experience.

From the moment new life has been conceived, the parents become responsible to create and hold the space for a tiny human being as they start navigating life here on earth.

Both mother and father will never be the same again.

Often, women become mothers and men become fathers without having figured out who they are, who they want to be and what life is all about. They stumble into this great opportunity without knowing themselves and without trusting their ability to love and care for their baby.

And often the message parents receive from the world is – we don’t trust you either:

you need help,

you are not good enough,

you cannot trust your instinct,

you must look at others to help you make your choices…

Instead of being supported to grow, new parents are reduced to insecure adults who gladly gives their power and autonomy away to those who seems to know better…

The time is ripe for parents to take their stand, to accept their own power and autonomy and to make the choices that are right for them as individuals and as a family. In the same breath, parents need to be supported to handle the responsibility that comes hand in hand with this position. As a parent, you must educate yourself so that you can make informed decisions and then face the consequences of those decisions. In all instances, no matter who you choose to be your caregiver during pregnancy, labour and birth or what decision you make regarding your child’s schooling or which community you surround yourself with – as a parent you carry the responsibility.

It is time to stop looking at others to rescue us, to stop pointing fingers and casting blame when things go wrong, it is time to become the experts on our own bodies and trust our instincts and expertise when it comes to birthing and raising our own children.

In our search to find tools to serve and empower Tulani families better, we stumbled upon the acronym, BRAINS, and it has been proven very useful in a variety of situations.

These are the questions you can ask your care provider before you make a decision or give consent to an intervention:

Dear parents: it is your body and your baby – you are ultimately responsible to keep this sacred gift safe. You don’t have to do it alone, but you have to stand up for what you need – in every situation.

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